AUM Shanti.
This is a post I had written few days back and since this post contained many other information which I earlier was not intending to write, I had thought to post it on last Thursday. But since account of Sachkhand is deactivated I am posting this as "Really?". Anyone can email me and I will try to answer your querries. But I cannot guaranty a reply.
pilatus wrote: I am glad that you had "very good experience". As you might read elsewhere on the forum, like (at least) some others here, my experiences were mixed.
Yes, I accept. I too had few unpleasant experiences. I wrote about my good experiences because it should not be mistaken that I never had any good experiences in AIVV. Even you have written that my experience as PBK might be heavily influencing my input/ approach to the forum. That is the reason why I have written about my good experiences. It might seem very awkward and unrealistic. But I would like to tell four incidents in Kampil.
I had went to meet Baba (the reason for writing Baba instead of Virendra Dev Dixit which is the way I have been writing in this forum is that untill couple of years back I used to consider Virendra Dev Dixit as ShivBaba. And whenever I wrote letters to Kampil before three years back I used to write in Hindi, as ShivBaba) first time in Kampil in January 1993. Classes used to be very early morning and there used to (drishti) Yoga for about one hour before Murli class. Mummi (ex-wife of Virendra Dev Dixit) used to sit beside Baba at that time facing him. I used to be so emotional and full of feelings of dedication and humility that tears used to flow through my eyes.
Few days afterwards at the time of Yoga I had experience of sweetness and peace in my forehead, I felt the consciousness i.e. I, the soul. I even thought that when experience of self is so sweet and pleasant then why are we hungry for sensual pleasures? After Yoga thre was Murli class as usual. After class was over I came to the front room where we stayed and where Baba also used to come and sit with us and chat with us and discuss and give clarifications and also used to play chess.
So, as I entered the front room after Murli class, Baba also had come behind me. He asked me that so Baba gave Divya Drishti to me (I do not remember the exact words). I said yes. Another brother there said that how is that possible because it is said that only ShivBaba has Divya Drishti. Then I corrected that brother and said that in Murli it is said that Only ShivBaba has the key to Sakshatkar (Divine Vision) whereas Divya Drishti is birth right of every child of ShivBaba. And as Baba himself had asked me about it, I was confirmed that the experience I had was not my fantacy but a real one.
Another time we were sitting with Baba in the front room. I do not remember how that issue came up. Baba suddenly asked me whether I wanted to know my previous births. Just minutes back while discussing (I think) Baba had said that it was better to experience ourself about our part rather than hearing from someone else. So, when Baba asked the question I felt clearly that a thought was induced in me and accordingly I said that no, I do not want to hear about my previous births from Baba but want to feel them myself.
Once (after first floor was completed) when Baba was sitting with PBKs on the first floor. It was rainy season and rain water used to come in on the first floor when it rained. I came to the first floor from below and I saw that some water was there, and as I saw Baba while going there I saw Baba in his eyes and I could sense that He was telling me to clear that water with some cloth. I did it.
Initially I had thought of witing just two but now this last one. We PBKs were staying on the first floor and used to leave our sandals and shoes on one side. Some PBKs would clean the place. So one day while cleaning I was putting all the sandals and shoes outside the room. I was keeping and a thought came to me that, Oh, I had to keep shoes and sandals with my hand of all these people. Just my pair of sandals were remaining and suddenly another PBK took my sandals and put them outside. So, I had many pleasant and good and mystic experiences there.
So, now the question arises why I am raising such issues in the forum which seems to be against ShivBaba.
I never used to think and churn knowledge too much. Basically, I am an emotional being, not very intellectual. But I think I have the capacity to think rationally and logically. I used to do purusharth of getting to the source of I. I used to think that although we get to know our births and Who Am I? I used to think that it is more important to understand and to know What Am I? And thus I continued with my purusharth.
Although sometimes I used to have questions and doubts about Virendra Dev Dixit as ShivBaba I did not think about it too much. I just believed. When I had gone to Kampil in 2002 I was asked to do bhatti again because I had not been a regular student in the PBK classes at my place and also had not gone to Kampil since many years. And I was asked to give in writing (letter of belief), i.e. court affidavit, in Farrukhabad AIVV centre (as nowadays no one is allowed directly into Kampil centre). When I came back to my place after doing bhatti in Kampil and meeting Baba in Chandighad I was uneasy. In Farrukhabad they had given me copy of my letter of belief. But as I started feeling that Virendra Dev Dixit is not the actual Mukarrar Rath or Prajapita, but it must be Lekhraj Kirpalani. I was feeling frustrated.
One AIVV member was going to Farrukhabad from our place. So I gave a packet to him to give it to Virendra Dev Dixit's hands only, in which I had returned the copy of letter of belief and written a letter to Virendra Dev Dixit (not ShivBaba) about my questions and doubts. I also have written a letter to ShivBaba (posted to Kampil centre) that hereafter I will not be an emotional being but will accept only facts which seems correct to me according to my churning based on my experiences.
Since few years, that is after 2002, it started to come to my mind that Dada Lekhraj Kirpalani must have taken rebirth after his death and that part must be Prajapita. So, some time in 2003-2004, I had written a letter to Kampil in which I wrote that I was getting a feeling very often that Dada Lekhraj Kirpalani must have taken rebirth after his death. After few days I received a letter in which I was questioned that then who is coming in Mt. Abu if D. Lekhraj's soul had taken rebirth? I had no answer. I kept quiet. Again I had gone to Kampil with a party in 2005 (may be July).
In Farrukhabad AIVV centre in class (where VCD of Virendra Dev Dixit's Murli class is shown) I had a very peculiar experience. It seems something happened in my brain's neural connectins as if blocks were cleared and everything had been put in their places. When we came back to Farrukhabad after doing bhatti in Kampil an old PBK whom I know since many years personally asked me about my experience and what have I gained? I said that I am now out of the influence of souls of Ram and Krishna (i.e., those Ram and Krishna as explained by Virendra Dev Dixit). I had bought Murli Khand 1 in Delhi AIVV centre.
So after coming back to our place I just kept it as I had kept all the notebooks wherein I had taken down Murli points from registers provided in Kampil. After few months I do not exactly know when and why I started reading Murli points seriously. I read Murli khand 1, Murli points in my notebooks, also Sakar Murlis of 1985 which I got from another PBK. In that I read a Murli point. Murli dt. 2-4-85, page 3: You people feed Brahmin. Call soul, is it not. This is all recorded in drama. It is not that soul comes leaving it's body. All this custom is in drama. There is nothing to get confused in this.
And after reading this point I again started to think on the point that Lekhraj Kirpalani must have taken rebirth after his death. And the custom that is taking place in Mt. Abu now where it is said that soul of Lekhraj Kirpalani comes is recorded in drama but it does not mean that Lekhraj Kirpalani goes there leaving his body of his present birth. But what is the explantion for all this? I used to keep thinking. Especially in the night when laying in bed I used to get thoughts which used to be like hints. Also I used to see minute sparkle of light. Sometime coming out of eyes and sometime in front of eyes.
I used to churn these hints based on my experiences. And thus I progressed (I believe so). And slowly a concept emerged regarding different aspects of The GodFather Shiv which I have written in the post "ShivBaba in Nutshell" in BK Splinter groups. Yet the concept is not complete but I think it is skeleton based on which everything else will fall in their respective places.
Regarding Ramkrishna Paramhansa as the previous birth of Lekhraj Kirpalani, I had this thought even at the time when I came to BK knowledge in 1989-90. But when I saw the year of death of Paramhansa and year of birth of Lekhraj Kirpalani as per BKs I had rejected that thought. But when in PBKs they told that Lekhraj Kirpalani was not sixty years old in 1936 I began to think that there is possiblity. In 2004-5 it so happened that I read biography of Ramkrishna Paramhansa and of Vivekanand and other disciples of Paramhansa and in one of the books I read that Ramkrishna Paramhansa had said that he would take his next birth in the North-West region of India. And in those days before partition of India Sindh province was the North-West region of India where D. Lekharaj was born.
Also an incident is written in biography of Paramhansa about his last days when he was sufferring due to throat cancer. In the last days of Paramhansa one of his desciples started to say openly that Ramkrishna Paramhansa was an Avataar (Reincarnation) or The Corporeal form of The GodFather. Narendra (who later became famous as Vivekanand), one of the young desciple who was very dear to Ramkrishna Paramhansa but who had no belief that GodFather can be even as Corporeal Human being, opposed this.
When Paramhansa was bedridden and was not even able to speak (just before three days of his death), Narendra was standing beside the bedridden Paramhansa and he thought in his mind that if in such state if Paramhansa says that he is an Avataar of GodFather then he (i.e. Narendra) would accept it. And just as Narendra completed his thought Ramkrishna Paramhansa asked and I quote, " Naren, do you still do not believe. Here, (I am) telling you, hear, One Who had been Ram Who had been Krishna, same One has Reincarnated as Ramkrishna in this body. But this is not just according to your Vedanta but in reality" (quoted from the book 'Yugavataar Shri Ramkrishna' in kannada language by swami Purushottamanand, vol 4, page 287, published by Shri Ramkrishna Ashram, Bengaluru).
So with this I was confirmed that Ramkrishna Paramhansa is the previous birth of Dada Lekhraj Kirpalani. And it also gave hints to the actual meaning of souls of Ram and Krishna which are being referred by Virendra Dev Dixit in his explanations.
When the above mentioned concept developed, it explained many difficult points of Murlis which were contradictory. Also during this period I started to have feeling that I was Dada Lekhraj Kirpalani's next birth. Oouch. That was just foolish of me. I tried to tell my intellect not to act foolishly. But the thought changed my state. I used to have pleasant experience. But I refused to believe it because Maya deceives in many ways. It is very. Experience of those days was like hot and sweet tomato sauce.
Then I put a condition to my mind that if such thing happens, which was accoding to me very difficult to happen, then I would believe it. And the thing happened. But still I could not believe it. I told my thought to my mother. She told to keep it to myself. She too actually did not believe. But it relieved me to certain degree as I could at least tell this to someone. I have been telling my spiritual churnings to one of my friends with whom I used to go for walking in the evenings and who although is not connected with BKWSU and AIVV but still has interest in spirituality and has faith in Guruji of their family who have done penance and meditation in Himalayas and have many experiences and powers. But I have never told him what I feel about my previous births.
When I came to know about this forum I became member of this forum on 26 december 2006 as Anamik. In that I asked question about Ramkrishna Paramhansa and also wrote a post that Prajapita would realise himself in 2007. Because I felt that by the next year I will get clarity and my understanding will take a shape. Untill then I used to have a kind of restlessness and uncertainity about future. But afterwards I started to feel that now everything is getting settled.
By mid-2007, my feelings changed and I felt that now Ravan is defeated and he has accepted the defeat. My restlessness was over and I became fearless that now nobody in world can do anything. Everything is settled. All this seems like a fairy tale, my fantacy, it might be so. Unless one gets explanation to everything nothing can be believed 100%. But still to progress further I thought it is better I make statement in this forum that I am Prajapita.
There were two reasons mainly. One, it would be a kind of record. And secondly it would bring criticisms and questions which I should face. Because if my intellect is fooling me then it will be humiliated and will back down. And as this would do no harm to anybody else I posted my statement that "I am Prajapita". At the maximum, it would humiliate me and it was not of much importance. But as I wanted to post with my true identity I created another account and again joined the forum with nickname Sachkhand and started to write my true name in the end of every post.
Since then I have not posted as Anamik and now I have even forgot it's password. I have even forgot the email ID given for that which I have stopped using. Even while creating that email ID I had given false data. Because I have heard that we should never disclose our identity in internet. But now I am fearless, come what may. It does not matter.
Sorry, for such a long post. I started with something else in mind and I have written so many things. I think this post replies many things which were being asked to me in many other threads.
Thanks, Sanjeev.
I think if site Admin had waited just for few more days they would have got answers to all their doubts regarding me. I hope they have got answers.