First impressions as a BK

[john]

I am interested if any members want to share their first impressions/experiences of becoming a BK, cast your minds back.

• What first interested you in becoming a BK?
  How did you think and feel on first learning Gyan and discovering the possibilities that you had found God in the form of ShivBaba?
  Was there a point you can remember that first gave you a doubt as to leaving the BKs?

[bro neo]

Hi john,

I’m not a member of the BKWSU anymore but I’ve got a pretty large member so I'll share.

Before finding the BKWSU I was a happy party animal who would "Just say yes!", not no. Then one night God comes down and b*tch slaps me and says "Sort it out boy!". So I wander the world like a freak armed with New Age Magazines, meditating on top of mountains, sleeping in country park and talking to all the freaky Jehovah Witnesses walking around thinking God wants me to be doing all this sence he put me on this path.

One day on my lunch break, pondering what the hell is going on, I walk by a Raja Yoga center. I say, "Hi?" and they send me into the museum where I am bombarded by speakers saying that God has come and the world ends tomorrow so I better do Raja Yoga or I'll be a pathetic blood sucking Shudra that ends up being, at best, a lowly mindless brain eating zombie.

So I take the 7 day course and start looking at a pretty little white dot while people tell me what to do, what is real, and that I should vacuum the center from now on. Oh yeah, and no more sex and masturbation not to mention showering every time after I do a number 2.

Of course I said, HAJI! After all, I was the second child in my family, and anyone who has studied child psychology knows that the second child is the rebellious one and needs to be the best in order to be content, and I wasn't going to let Brahma be better then me just cause he was there first.

So everyone treats me weird and I do meditation and karma Yoga 24/7, meet God twice, and I must say the one in Madubhan did not seem anything like the one that scared the bejesus out of me with an out of body experience, telepathy and visions of my death and the consequences.

Anyways, I was hypnotized but because of my tireless need to be better then everyone else I strove to be the best in service, which meant studying outside of the Murlis, which I had already inculcated to the best of my ability.

Then as I started to gain magical powers from taboo stuff, such as dream analysis and energy healing, my Yoga also started to lead me away from the BKWSU. Maybe because I had Yoga with the Supreme Righteous God, and not Shiva and BapDada (I thought my translation would be accurate as English is my first language). I deliberated this for months but finally, before being given the SS title of my dreams, and after weighing all the pros and cons, I did it. I spanked my monkey and said, "That's it! Its finalized, I am ouuuutttt ...".

[freedom]

Hey, Neo ... you made me laugh with your ex-rated BK experience !!!

My experience was more finding a family, some kind of love, peace , etc ... something that I was lacking from my broken family, drug users friends and total lack of confidence from a lokik point of view. After all I was 19 years old in Brazil !!!

Oh well ... this was about 22 years ago ... I am happy to have this forum so I don't feel crazy, lost or lonely !!!!

Yeah, I thought Shiva was God but I couldn't understand why God would create such a cold organization and nobody could help me with my fears/insecurities and practical details of daily life ... with angry people wanting the world to end so badly and get ready for the Golden Age !!??!!

Peace ... 8).

[zhuk]

I never found God ... but I wasn't looking for one in the first place. In that respect I am luckier than those who had the full-on pukka-BK-experience & then left.

I guess I am rather unique in that ... to get caught up in a religious cult when I had no real interest in the subject, lol. Rather, I have/had an intractable back problem that I was told was "all in my head" and that I would "never sit normally again" unless I sorted my appallingly negative head out (chronic pain makes you do all sorts of desperate things :roll:).

(Yes, this badly needed addressing, but CBT or simple [non-denominational] mindfulness could have done that without all the BK/dogma/baggage which I then had to rid myself of. Luckily I was never in very deep, so it wasn't any kind of gut-wrenching abandonment like others have experienced, and as they have courageously documented here) ...

So I jumped at the BKs promise that I would never be unhappy ever again (as if that's either normal or realistic lol) and BE ABLE TO SIT AGAIN :P.

Needless to say it wasn't the answer. And neither were my physical problems "all in my head" either. Now I am reading about Zen & mindfulness which makes more INTRINSIC sense to me than the BKs ever did.