ex-l wrote:... I think we ought to have a 12 Step plan for Brahmakumari Sister-in-charges and the model for a group is a lot better than the rules of a BK center. Anyone care to attempt to re-write them for BK/ex-BKs?
1. We admitted we were powerless over our religious addiction, having lost our sense of self, and given our moral compass and authority over our life decisions to other--supposedly enlightened--religious guides.
I got this far, and realized that I am not prepared to craft a master plan for coping with such issues, that people concened with leaving and surviving abusive cult environments have also done much more that I could.
Here is a good reference:
The Cult Survivor's Handbook, by Nori J. Muster
I find the introductory chapter especially interesting since it deals specifically (though briefly) with cults and the author's cult experiences. The other chapters introduce various kinds of therapies and self-help methods.
I include a brief quote about cult attributes that seems to characterize the BK organization.
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If you suspect that you are (or were) in contact with a cult, ask yourself some serious questions about the group:
- Do you have to change who you are to fit in, please others?
- Do they set up a duality of "us and them" and tell you that people outside the group are bad, less important?
- Do they treat "outsiders" badly or talk behind their backs?
- Do they treat members badly?
- Do they give a false impression to the public?
- Do they predict that society is on the brink of destruction?
- Do they say that they have all the answers and you would be lost without their help?
- Do they request excessive donations of your time and money?
Never allow any group to ruin your life. Cult leaders are often sociopathic and power hungry. They teach their followers that the outside world is evil; that the cult offers the only salvation. This creates an atmosphere of isolation, leading to hopelessness.
Cult recruiters target people with low self-esteem, presenting the group as a loving surrogate family. Members are taught to do whatever the family asks. They must repress their individuality and work for the good of the group. New people may receive excellent treatment, but once they are established members, they may be exploited and abused. Demoralized, they change their personality to please authority figures and fit into the group.
Cult leaders preach that society is on the brink of destruction, then they isolate their members and control the flow of information to reinforce the party line. They manipulate members with guilt and fear. Cults portray themselves as benign and may hide undesirable aspects of their operation from the public and from members. Hence, the stereotype of the "blind" follower.
One of the most insidious things about my cult experience was that they told us we had to give up our previous "material" life and devote one hundred percent of our time and energy to the group. Some ISKCON gurus still preach this as the meaning of surrender. At ISKCON's request, I abandoned all my friends and family without thinking about how I may have hurt them or made them worry about me. When my book came out, parents of other cult members began to contact me for advice. Listening to their grief made me realize how my own family may have felt. Hopefully this book will help bring families back together, or at least help them understand each others' perspectives.
Although this book is written for people who are recovering from victimization in a cult, it can also help people who are still deciding whether to leave a difficult group situation. Some people may feel they are in a dysfunctional, cult-like business or family environment, so they may use this book to help them decide whether they need to make some changes.
