Male Female relationships

[in the night]

From a holistic, religious, or scientific point of view, man and woman (or viceversa) are destined to be together. There's no need to mention the universal belief in an Adam & Eve ... or Lakshmi & Narayan.

It is a wonder how throughout our recent known history, all human sorts of laws have tried to regulate this partnership. Marriage, divorce, widowship, homosexual relations, ect., are all trying to be regulated whether it is from governments, social or religious movements, or comunities themselves.

But, I ask myself; is there a better or ultimate saying on this? One thing is clear, we are all in need of loving and caring intimate relationships to be happy. Many believe in life time marriage and others can say, "sex, drugs and rock & roll". Nevermind!! ... Being alone is no fun!!

I realise the importance of sharing our deepest emotions and plans with ... someone?? But how much do we actually know about how to achieve this "desire"?? I don't know about you all, but I have the feeling that we can expand a lot on this issue.

[alladin]

Hi, In the night, nice reading your posts always and thank you for opening up such a topic. I will definetely contribute to it, not much right now, though. I am in a difficult situation heartwise, just keeping the pain under control and trying to grow and get to know myself better. I always jumped in relationships quickly, impulsively, following my instinct and not the rationale, giving a lot of love and trust on credit, and systematically got burnt ( have to re-book some appointment with a psyc.!). This time with an exiting BK.

Things have taken a turn that I hadn't expected, totally different from what he said, it appeared to be and we shared. He's trying to set himself free from any BK influence, but in fact, what he's done recently, has been using detachment and lack of intimacy as a solution to whatever real or imagined problems we had or the future may hold for us. In typical BK style. Although we communicate still, I feel my spontaneity is hampered by the fact that I feel kept "at bay" as a potential temptress that might lure him into relapsing in a relationship he considers not beneficial for either of us.

Whilst I am trying to become "whole", sincere, heal from sect influences and promote a healthy cooperation of physical and mental energies in myself, here comes the challenge dressed as a man who, after being a passionate lover, tells me that with few hours notice, we are now brother and sister. It's as if all the work I have done on my self in terms of realizations and experimenting together, has brought me to this punishment of "platonic relationship".

He says it was too "intense" to handle. Maybe as BKs or Ex, we are really complicated, or at least, I am. I wish it was all about a desire of being laid and that my partner had found a new flame. What a luxury, if it was as simple as that!! Once again woman as "doorway to hell", the miniskirt that turns a respectable man into a rapist.

I undst now how "guilt" plays a HUGE part in his psyche, throughout his life. It's difficult for me to understand, because that's quite alien to me. I have other problems, so putting myself in his shoes is hard. I came to know how that feeling he has, colours everything and comes up recurrently. What I will think about and post asap on, his how feelings of fear and guilt are re-inforced by associating oneself to an org that equals avoidance of intimacy and detachment to holiness.

So, talking about men women relationships in general in the world, is one thing. Understanding the effect the BK system and principles and subsequent "judgements" on those who find it hard to comply, is a more intricate matter but definitely worth us discussing. Precisely because it's one of the big TABOOS for BKs and we may be carrying scars we are not even aware of.

Adhering to the BK org means, possibly, parking any desire for intimacy, denying it and condamning it as not legitimate or elevated. I was struck and therefore remember many posts of Joel's on us being "mammals", therefore naturally being born and meant for having physical contact and sharing affection. The BKs claim that for "deity souls", this is not at all natural, implying also that it is contrary to "soul consciousness" and spiritual development, it's something that we better not feel or express, since it will necessarily lead to pain.

I am struggling not to accept the fact that sorrow is inevitably a result of emotional involvement with other humans. Or I could see the simplistic wisdom of BKs in its essence "prevention is better than cure!".

[andrey]

If male and female are created to be with one another, then maybe problems come when they are not. For example, it is no surprise there are so many quarrels here and there.

I believe each one of us is not created to have so many relationships and to get along with everyone, it is not normal. Although the world is like this today, and we are asked by BapDada to claim a certificate of contentment from at leat 95% of people we are in contact or relationship with (that they are content with us), i don't know if it is very normal. i mean, it is very difficult?

If one has to harmonise with only one person the he can be one person himself, he need not assume different positions all the time with everyone. If we also take the example of the balance of the scales then there are two cups on the two sides. What a complicated balance will it be if there are many cups, what complicated mechanism will be needed and what hard work to put more here, less there so to strike a balance.

[fluffy bunny]

Some non-BK spiritually minded also think that we are in a period of "quickening" when many accounts have to be cleared, and much learning has to be done. Even through multiple relationships.

It is worth asking how many relationships our body/minds can cope with, just as how much knowledge or stimulation our brains can cope with as - from an evolutionary point of view, our bodies and brains were pretty much the same for 10,000s of years of sameness.

Its is impossible to remove the aspect of "property" and ownership in all those "religious" and political laws over relationships. They were primarily there to protect the man and the man's family money. Its a top down effect, as were the kings, so wanted the well do subjects ... until you got down to the slave or untouchable castes in which abuse by superiors was most common.

The last 100 years has been such a rush of experiences, the biology of the body has not had time to catch up. So, we are talking of the mechanics of Yin and Yang here. Funny, given the theory that all things are expressed from and by Shiva in the Confluence Age, that Gyan has never explicitly mentioned Yin and Yang.

[in the night]

Interesting how "Vishnu", an important concept in BK mythology :lol:, was supposed to mean the perfect combination of the perfect man and woman. I also recall comparisons being made of heaven, or Golden Age, with the "Land of Vishnu".

PBKs enlighten the topic with a belief in heaven meaning the perfect soul-match life during the entire "Golden Age". That is their comcept of purity; one lover and no other, a perfect couple. I must admit it sounds so relaxing and ... holy?? ... :biggrin:.

BKs, on the other side, have very little to say about the topic. I guess, we will learn about this when in pampers during our golden upbringing ...

But, what do we do now?? ... celibacy or "pain and passion"?? ... or has any ex-BK, bk, pbk, ex-name it ... found another recipe?? I would mention my latest, but it may be a bit far out. Prefer to hear your comments first.

Thanks and may love come to your doorstep :).

[pilatus]

Thanks to in the night for starting this topic.

The Vishnu concept resonates a lot with me - I find it links quite well with some of the Western / Jungian / psychological stuff I've absorbed over the last few years. The essence of what I took from this is:

• 1) All human beings contain both the feminine and masculine "principles", Yin and Yang energies ...
  
  2) The difference in the balance of these energies between people in male or female bodies is much smaller than most of us presume, e.g. 51% vs 49%.
  
  3) We all contain/identify at a subconscious level with various subpersonalities some of which are feminine and some of which are masculine. They also vary in terms of age/wisdom etc.
  
  4) These subconscious subpersonalities are as individual to us as our physical or conscious forms but there are a number of cultural or cross-cultural archetypes which unite and connect us.
  
  5) Most of the "work" required in psychotherapy and counselling is directed towards balancing or achieving mutual love and respect between our various subpersonalities, the feminine and masculine "principles".
  
  6) If we can achieve this, or at least address the fundamental issues between them, we are well on our way to becoming Vishnu-like. Along the way we find that we've sorted out our lives and our relationships.

Very best wishes to you all ...

[paulkershaw]

The Vishnu concept resonates a lot with me - I find it links quite well with some of the Western / Jungian / psychological stuff I've absorbed over the last few years. The essence of what I took from this is:
]1) All human beings contain both the feminine and masculine "principles", Yin and Yang energies ...
and completes the post with ...
6) If we can achieve this, or at least address the fundamental issues between them, we are well on our way to becoming Vishnu-like. Along the way we find that we've sorted out our lives and our relationships.

WOW stuff and a great post for me. DIt dfines what a "spiritual journey" should be in my eyes.

[arjun]

PBKs enlighten the topic with a belief in heaven meaning the perfect soul-match life during the entire "Golden Age". That is their comcept of purity; one lover and no other, a perfect couple. I must admit it sounds so relaxing and ... holy?? ...

Om Shanti. PBKs are also given the example of Ardhanaareeshwar, i..e half man and half woman form of Shankar and Parvati combined together in one body with the vertical right half of the body being Shankar and the vertical left half of the body being Parvati. This also represents that every soul contains both male and female sanskars, but some may have the dominance of male sanskars while some others may have a dominance of female sanskars. As per the Advance knowledge taught to PBKs by ShivBaba (through Baba Virendra Dev Dixit) - while in the Golden and Silver Age, every soul takes a male and a female body alternately, but in the Copper and Iron Ages, souls may take up to two consequetive births of a male or female but not more than that.

Now something not related to Gyan. :wink: I have read in the newspapers that surveys have found that while choosing partners, women show the tendency of choosing physically well built men for temporary relationships, but for permanent relationships, they choose men with the sanskars of both man and woman, i.e. the man who has the best of the feminine and masculine features. 'Women' - "souls" 8) (in this Kaliyug) are smart indeed!!!!! :lol: :P

Regards,
OGS,
Arjun

[mr green]

I like having relationships with women.

[bansy]

Haven't you guys got it yet. Women choose men with deep pockets. :P Even in the Golden Age, would a girl choose the King's son, or the subject's son ? Myths and legends about the knight or prince in white shining armour, not a hairy peasant in ragged clothes. It helps if the prince has as many virtues as the peasant, but this poses little problems in the Golden Age as everyone is perfect :P

Just a banter.

[mr green]

Haven't you guys got it yet. Women choose men with deep pockets. :P Even in the Golden Age, would a girl choose the King's son, or the subject's son ? Myths and legends about the knight or prince in white shining armour, not a hairy peasant in ragged clothes. It helps if the prince has as many virtues as the peasant, but this poses little problems in the Golden Age as everyone is perfect :P

Just a banter.

So, even the Golden Age is body-conscious :lol:.

[bansy]

The Golden Age is body conscious. Energy and degrees start to dwindle so there has to be some sort of body consciousness. If everyone was soul conscious, what is the need for a human soul to take on a body ?

(I am not sure about the rest of the forum members here, but I was not taught that Golden Age was 100% soul conscious by the BKs. That is the aim for the Confluence Age. Thereafter, it's downhill for another 4900 years. :idea: )

[andrey]

dear br. ex-l

Yin and Yang are terms use in China - Buddhism. Baba via Virendra Dev Dixit definetely uses these terms but in other naming.

I believe in the male female relationship. When we both have both the male and female qualities, then we should address one another in the right way. If we both approach one another with our male qualities then it will be as if there are two males in the house or two females.

[fluffy bunny]

Toaism actually, would you say? Or does Virendra Dev Dixit class any Far Eastern Religion as Buddhist.

And, sure, the Yin-Yang theory exists elsewhere.

[mr green]

The Golden Age is body conscious. Energy and degrees start to dwindle so there has to be some sort of body consciousness. If everyone was soul conscious, what is the need for a human soul to take on a body ?

(I am not sure about the rest of the forum members here, but I was not taught that Golden Age was 100% soul conscious by the BKs. That is the aim for the Confluence Age. Thereafter, it's downhill for another 4900 years).

Where were you given the course??